This week, we decided to write about a topic that is regularly talked about in our practice and is foundational in the work we do with our clients that we call the “power of pause”. Mel Robbins describes it in her latest book as the “let me” part of her theory. I find people often miss the main premise behind her work, which is about the power of choice and choosing how you’re going to react in every situation, while allowing others to own their thinking, behavior and choices.

The Stimulus Response Model, that we have been using for years, calls it the “power of choice”, and if you like Daniel Goleman’s work on emotional intelligence, then you are familiar with the “power of pause” as we like to call it.

As leaders and human beings, where we focus our attention matters deeply not just for what we take in, but for how we give back. The power of pausing and thinking before we speak allows us to be present, intentional, and purposeful in every interaction. I often say to my clients, “Your head and feet need to be in the same place.” If they aren’t, people can feel your distraction or disconnect from the conversation or circumstance at hand.

Building on our previous blog posts on self-awareness and emotional intelligence, let’s dive deeper into this notion of what it means to be present. Being present is often neglected when stress levels are high and we simply react without thinking or being thoughtful in our response. 

What Does It Really Mean to Be Present?

Being present means offering your full, undivided attention to the person or people you are interacting with, the conversation at hand, and the moment you are in. It’s more than avoiding distractions or making eye contact. It's about engaging completely on all levels.

Your body language, your stillness, your intention are all cues that signal to others, “I am here with you, and I care.” And when you do that, something magical happens that strengthens the human connection with others. You don’t just hear the words, you can almost feel what they are feeling. You create a safe place by being fully present, which is essential to building trust and developing more meaningful relationships.  

Leaders who actively listen are fully present and know how to foster psychological safety. It sends the message: "I see you, I value you and I want to help you succeed."

The Power of Pause

Pausing gives us space. Space to think before we speak. Space to process instead of react. Space to lead with clarity rather than ego. A simple two-second pause before responding increases the perception of empathy and attentiveness in conversations.

Viktor Frankl, who wrote the book "Man's Search for Meaning” is known for his famous quote that highlights the importance of pausing, reflecting, and consciously choosing one's response rather than reacting automatically.

This ability to choose is a key element in effective leadership, allowing leaders to respond thoughtfully and strategically, rather than impulsively.

‍Presence is a Leadership Superpower

Harvard Business Review has explored how mindful presence significantly increases a leader’s ability to connect with others, build trust, and lead with authenticity. It helps us access our better judgment, strengthens relationships, and allows us to create environments where people feel seen and heard.

This requires discipline to stay focused on task and not let yourself be affected by nagging challenges or distracted by mental chatter.

Bain & Company research involving over 2,000 employees revealed that out of 33 essential leadership traits, the most critical was "centeredness". The ability to remain present, calm, and grounded. Centered leaders create space for others to thrive because they listen more, rush less and respond instead of react.

Listening Without Fixing

As leaders, we often feel pressure to jump in, fix, solve, and steer. But sometimes, the most powerful thing we can do is just be there and witness someone else’s experience, to let them think out loud, and to hold the space for their truth.

When we show up with presence and resist the urge to control, we invite others to own their voice which can lead to many amazing possibilities, outcomes and results.

Practical Ways to Practice Presence‍

The good news is that presence is not a mystical trait reserved for monks or spiritual gurus. It’s a practice that can build one small habit at a time. Here are a few strategies that can make a real difference:

Start Your Day with a Pause‍

Take five minutes every morning to sit quietly and reflect. Breathe. Perhaps set an intention for your day or practice gratitude, as we encourage our clients to do. Checking in with yourself before jumping into the daily grind will help ground you for the day ahead. 

Apps like Headspace and Calm offer guided meditations that can help you start small. I am a raving fan of Gabby Bernstein as I have a really hard time just sitting in stillness and it has been a real game changer for me.  

Create “White Space” in Your Day‍

Our calendars are often jammed with meetings. We needs breaks. 

Build in time to reset, whether it’s a 10-minute walk, deep breathing between meetings, or a real lunch break away from your desk will recharge your batteries, so you have the energy to make it through your day. These mini-pauses boost our focus, clarity and decision-making.

Practice Active Listening‍

When someone is speaking, focus entirely on them. Repeat back what you heard to confirm understanding. This builds rapport and trust, and ensures you’re not listening just to respond, but to truly understand. In one of our previous blogs, we provided simple tips on how to be a better listener by encouraging you to stop multi-tasking. When someone comes to you, regardless of whether communication is virtual or in-person, stop what you are doing and pay attention.

Replaying their key message in your mind helps refocus you if your mind wanders. Listening is a skill that needs to be developed, so if you are easily distracted by your own thoughts, replaying what you heard in your mind helps bring you back in focus, especially if they are verbose in their communication.

Writing down your questions or thoughts will help prevent you from interrupting someone else’s thought process while they are speaking to you. How many times have you been interrupted halfway through a thought and then you cannot recall what it is that you wanted to share? 

You will have your turn to talk or ask questions after they are done speaking. Writing down a few key words or questions will ensure that you do not forget, plus it sends the message that you care and that the conversation is important enough to make notes.

Permission to Be Imperfect‍

Let me be real with you as someone who practices and teaches this daily., I also get distracted at times. My brain loves to solve problems and brainstorm solutions. I cannot help myself. I am wired that way as a divergent thinker. Presence isn’t about perfection. It’s about progress. It’s about choosing to come back to the moment with compassion for yourself and others.

Leadership is not about having all the answers. It’s about having the courage to show up fully, to listen deeply, and to respond with intention. That’s what it means to be truly present and that’s where engagement, empowerment and high performance thrive.

Let’s Talk

When we embrace the power of the pause and are intentional about our presence, we unlock something profound, not only in our leadership but in our lives. We create space for deeper connections, better decisions, and more meaningful moments.

I’d love to hear your thoughts. How are you practicing the power of pause and presence in your leadership? What’s working and what’s getting in the way?

Let’s keep the conversation going. Reach out today at 416-560-1806 or email me at joanne.trotta@leadersedgeinc.ca. I look forward to hearing from you.

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